It's amazing how long you can keep going on just a spark of hope for something. And when that small flame finally goes out, the room gets cold right quick. Every morning this week has seemed particularly cold and gray, and it feels like people are just out to be crappy. I have the litany of positive things going through my head, but they aren't really finding the toehold they need to improve my mood because the lousy things are busy running amok in there too.
Ever notice when a few bad things happen, it feels like the awful things just continue to roll on through?
I know it's the whole power of negative thinking thing, but I can't seem to brush things off this week. I suppose I'm having myself a bit of a depression. (The extra sleeping has been lovely at least.)
Thank goodness our change of scenery is coming soon. I can't wait to escape on an adventure, even if it isn't the same one we originally planned.
There is a funny postscript to this...
When Nathan got home after working very late last night, I said to him, "I know that you don't do very well at dealing with this kind of thing right when you walk in the door especially after such a long day, but I am having a really hard time. I am feeling really down, and I just can't find a way to feel better. I am incredibly depressed...."
My head rested on his shoulder as I waited for a reaction. I could hear the peppy electronic music going in the one earbud still in his other ear. I looked up at him.
He looked back. "I feel sad." Seeing my raised eyebrows, he added, "For you."
Luckily, this was just so ridiculous that it cheered me up a bit. "I could have typed those words into a computer program to have them said out loud to me with the same effect, Nathan."
"But I meant it though."