Fall is Approaching

I just discovered Abstract City, an amazing visual blog.  The author/artist, Christoph Niemann, takes very simple concepts and fills them with cleverness and creativity.  In honor of the approach of fall, I thought I'd show you a little of one of my favorite entries so far.  Take a look at his Bio-Diversity entry for more of his fun takes on trees.

 

 

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Random Facts Friday

Favorite food (right now):  Raspberry Pie

Restaurant I Love: Smoque BBQ  Yumm.

Still Haven't Mastered: The willpower to avoid desserts. Last week I had farmer's market raspberry pie for breakfast (more than once).

Hate: My serious lack of willpower.*

Love against my will:  Coke...I keep giving it up, but then I get an irresistible craving. 

Latest Aggravation: My opossum-tailed cat, Maybe.** Darn it, cat, stop pulling out clumps of hair. You're starting to look naked.

Most ridiculous thing I have done recently: Went on a honeymoon with my in-laws. Oh yes, picture Nathan and I sharing the bottom bunk bed while his brother sleeps overhead.

Book I just finished: The End of Mr. Y (Thumbs up.)



Things I discovered while writing this post:
     *Exciting:  Lack of willpower is not entirely my fault as it is apparently a depletable commodity.
   **Oh so Disturbing: There exists a yarn, which people make into sweaters, etc., that comes from fur hand-plucked from opossums.

A Letter to My 18-Year-Old Self

Sure, it was not all that long ago, but having recently turned 30, I was particularly struck when I saw this feature on one of the blogs I follow.  The idea of what I would tell my younger self stayed with me, and I finally sat down to put those vague and misty thoughts into words.  I decided that I could have really used my future self's advice in high school rather than at 20, so I aimed my letter at 18-year-old me.

Dear 18-year-old Hanna,

Thank you for realizing that high school isn't it, but you've only got the glimmer right now.  Embrace it fully.  These girls are never going to accept you.  They're always going to judge you by the clothes you wear and by whether you are exactly like them.  And you're totally right, you are never ever going to be able to do it.  So don't feel guilty about it anymore.  Stop seeing that as a drawback.  You are weird, girl.  Love it.  Because when you get to be my age, everyone is going to be striving to stand out.  

Don't worry about not being that interested in the guys in your classes either.  You can listen to your mother and give them a chance (and boy, will you end up with some good stories out of it), but there's nothing wrong with being picky.  Because it will happen much sooner than you think.

And about that.  He's a tough nut to crack.  You'll have to be strong.  Hold tight to your belief in his love.  Because it's there even if it's hard to see it sometimes.  It's not going to be like in a movie (give that idea up right now because that will bite you in the ass time and again, believe me), and you'll think that it might be easier to give up, but the good will always, always outweigh the bad.  He will be your sounding board, your anchor, and your greatest entertainment, and you will never regret holding on.

There will be some heartbreak ahead.  It will get rocky.  You'll have to be a lot of things to a lot of people, and it will often be incredibly difficult.  But it will teach you empathy and loyalty.  Change will happen, and fighting it will only hurt you more; so forgive, and let it go. 

Finally, don't overdo it on the tequila.  Every single time you do, it will not be pretty.  Also, enjoy that high metabolism, and stop comparing.  You look amazing!  (And you're totally right, he does have a thing for you.)

Thanks for being willing to try new things, for questioning the way it's always been done, and for embracing adventure.  This will never let you down, and it will fill your life with fantastic stories and magical experiences.

Love you,
Hanna

Our Wedding Ceremony

As we had a very small wedding guest list, I have received many requests to hear all about our wedding.  The next few blog entries are dedicated to our wedding. 

First, I thought I'd share our ceremony.

We decided to write our own because we wanted to reflect our values and interests in our day.  As anyone who knows us realizes, we are far from traditional so we wanted our ceremony to reflect that as well.  We both have a love of reading and books and our ceremony truly embraces literature.  Our siblings and parents recited the readings (or in Nathan's Dad's case, officiated), and Nathan and I introduced our vows with poems.  Mine was "i carry your heart" by ee cummings (Complete Poems: 1904-1962 by ee cummings), while Nathan's was Sonnet LXIX by Pablo Neruda (100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda).

Here it is, though minus a few tears.  Barry (my father-in-law) read all the parts in italics.

Gathering by William H Matchett  (Dad read)

Here, in our best bib and tucker we flock,
Drawn from all the hell over, iron filings to a magnet,
An intricate pattern, a one-time convergence
Of friends and relations, a living mandala;

Young and old, nephews and nieces,
Sisters and brothers, parents, grandmother,
And all those others you got to choose for yourselves
Agglomerating to hold you in the centre.

Slow in coming, swift in passing, this day
Slow but long-lasting the major choice confirmed,
Hardly inevitable, yet falling into place
As though it were just what we always expected.

So we join, as you join,
In celebrating love – yours for each other of course
Ours, as you must know, for you – circling,
Cherishing, blessing, releasing
Love, the core of all.

Nathan and Hanna have invited all of you here today to celebrate their marriage.  They know that a marriage needs the help of a community, of friends and family who will be there to support the new family they will create.  May you always do all within your power to support the union that will be made here today and to nurture the bond between these two people whom you love.

This ceremony celebrates all the commitments Nathan and Hanna have made to each other, both large and small, in the days since they first met and recognized their connection to one another.  Their wedding is a symbol of how far they have come together and a symbol of the promise that they will make to each other to continue to live their lives together and to love each other solely and above all others. 


from Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins (Susanne read)

Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.

excerpt "Union" by Robert Fulghum  (Emily read) 
Hanna and Nathan, “You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife.”

Do you, Hanna, take this man as your husband for as long as you both shall live?  Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?

-I do.

Do you, Nathan, take this woman as your wife for as long as you both shall live?  Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?

-I do.

i carry your heart by ee cummings  (Hanna to Nathan)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                    i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant 

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Sonnet LXIX by Pablo Neruda  (Nathan to Hanna)

Maybe nothingness is to be without your presence,

without you moving, slicing the noon

like a blue flower, without you walking

later through the fog and the cobbles,

without the light you carry in your hand,

golden, which maybe others will not see,

which maybe no one knew was growing

like the red beginnings of a rose.

In short, without your presence: without your coming

suddenly, incitingly, to know my life,

gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind:

since then I am because you are,

since then you are, I am, we are,

and through love I will be, you will be, we’ll be.

Repeat after me:

I, Nathan, take you Hanna, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part.

-Response

I, Hanna, take you, Nathan, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part.

-Response

No one but you can declare yourselves married. You have begun it here today in speaking your vows before family and friends and you will do it again in the days and years to come, standing by each other, sharing all the sweet and the bitter of life. Each tender act, each loving word will be the declaration of what was made here today.

These rings are a reminder and a celebration of the promises you have made today and in exchanging these bands you knit your two lives together as one.

Please repeat after me, these words: 

(Nathan)

Accept this ring as a symbol of all the things I find difficult to say: how much I love you and how happy I am to have you in my life, my best friend, my wife.

(Hanna)

Accept this ring as a symbol of all the things that fill my heart: how much I love you and how happy I am to have you in my life, my best friend, my husband.

I give it a month before he loses it.

Epithelium by Aonghas MacNeacail (Shirley read)

This is your new garden, a whole wide
World of it, so green and songbird fresh
All yours to map and fill with luminous
Constellations of fruit and berry blossoms


This is your new garden, tend it as if
All the young shoots that promise
A succulent harvest of root and ear
Will be young and tender for all time


This is your garden, there will always be
Much hoeing and raking, the clearing
of weeds and sowing of seeds will ask
patience, attention, forgiving laughter


this is the garden you will want to live in, it’s not
all sunshine – there’s moonshine too, all earth
needs storms, but when the dark clouds peel back,
see your garden bloom into a universe of stars.

We have all gathered here and witnessed the celebration of love that Nathan and Hanna have shown and the commitment that they have made to each other. This marriage is not an end, nor is it a beginning, but rather it is an important step along a path which continues into the future, and it is a step which Nathan and Hanna  are taking with a clear understanding of the commitment and resolution that the path requires and with confidence, trust and love.

from "Song of the Open Road" by Walt Whitman (Jessica read)

Afoot and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose…
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

May your intention and your commitment to each other remain strong and may the foundation of your relationship be love and the best interests of each other.
 
Gaelic Wedding Blessing (Mom read)
May God be with you and bless you.
May you see your children’s children.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

Walk gently through the world together and know its wonders for all the days of your lives. Go forward in your life together with the good wishes of those who love you. Remember this day, those who came to wish you well, the words you have spoken, the emotions you feel and the love you have declared. And above all, be happy.

By authority granted by the State of New York I now pronounce you, husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

Lovely.  This makes New York City feel like Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.


The Sandpit from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

I hope someone will do one for Chicago.

Fantastical Hobbies

Can you imagine the patience this hobby requires?

 This carpenter creates miniature sculptures on the tips of pencils.   

Dalton Ghetti uses a razor blade, sewing needle, and sculpting knife, but never a magnifying glass, to make these incredible carvings that he just gives away to his friends.







More pictures (and complete story) at Accidental Mysteries

How to Deal

When the Number of Men Who Have Hit on Your Fiance Surpasses

the Number of Men Who Have Hit on You

1)  Stomp your foot and announce that your cute ass is wasted on this neighborhood.

2)  Contemplate his cute ass and determine that at least the attention is justified.

3)  Encourage him to obtain his clothes from bus stops, gutters, and lost and found boxes.

4)  Determine that you will purchase all his clothes one size larger from now on.  This has been proven effective in preventing attention in countless Lifetime movies and After-School Specials that I have seen.  Oh, and glasses seem to work wonders in this department as well.

5)  Take it as a supreme compliment, and feel a little sorry for the poor guy (or let's face it-guys) who realize he's going home with you.

Ever feel like just letting loose on an iPhone user?

All I can say, is "well said."  Love this channel.  They have some hilarious rants, all taken directly from real posts on YouTube and other comments sections on the internet and reenacted by hugely talented actors. 

Recent Conversation #4

Me:  So did you tell him we would love to have them over for dinner some night?
Him:  Can't be dinner.  Too late for them.
Me:  Oh yeah, well lunch then.  Or brunch sometime.
Him:  Nope, it's going to have to be lunch.  Brunch is nap time.
Me:  Ugh, when people have babies they lose all interest in anything else.
Him:  I think you have to, when the thing only sleeps occasionally....
Me:   "The thing?"  Oh we are so ready to have children right now.

I Feel Silly about This

I can't decide my reason for listening to Thinking of You over and over.  Is it truly a good song (pretty sure it is) or do I just like picturing the talented actor/singer, Christian Kane, who sings it (definitely!)?  I really can't decide (it's more likely an awkward mixture of both of these reasons).

I feel silly about it because I have a love for him that I worry may be bordering on obsession.  I formed the attachment back when I was laid off, and I DVR'd Angel every day for three months until I had watched every episode (Pathetic maybe, but I was unemployed; pathetic was my goal, my temporary career plan for those three months), but now I love him even more as a result of Leverage.  I don't feel silly about encouraging you to watch the show yourself.  It's fun to watch, and I can even convince Nathan to stick around for a full episode, which is rare.

If I find a fellow watcher, I get a little too excited talking about it, and have to mentally rein myself in.  There are only a few shows like that for me, but this is certainly one.  Anyone else have this affliction?

I Want This Wednesday

I really really want an apple picking ladder.  That seems crazy, I know.  In fact, I admit that I have no idea what I would do with it.  Actually, it's more like I have too many ideas about what I could do with it.

I love the idea of using one as a shelf just about as much as I would love to have it in our guest bathroom holding hand towels.  I can also see using two of them on either side with shelves in between the rungs to create a little waist high bookcase or even a three shelf version to go under a window.  I could use one as a table top, covering it with glass and attaching legs, or I could use the ladders as the legs and find an old door for the table top.

Ahhh, so many options, such a ridiculous wish for now.  Can you imagine the shipping fee to send a LADDER from Virginia to Chicago?  Maybe I'll scout the tri-state area for orchards with old ladders they might be willing to sell.  Next summer though.  I've got a bit on my plate for now.

The Problem of Rude

As I sat on the bus yesterday on the way home from work, the long, tedious, though strangely uncrowded, bus, I had occasion to ponder rudeness. 

Don't be "that guy."

This opportunity was presented to me by the tattooed Hispanic woman who boarded midway to my destination.  She had her phone on speaker and was discussing her dog loudly with her phone companion.  She seemed very worked up about what I could only partially gather was a not infrequent (or unwelcome "go ahead, I said, call them.  I don't give  a @&*$") visit from the police.  Apparently her neighbor decided her dog was too loud or too menacing or something (I lost focus after the fifth or sixth f-bomb). 

Most people seem to get on board the bus in a heated conversation, but gradually wind down when they realize they're in close quarters with others.  However, this woman seemed immune from the "are you really doing that here" stare.  I contemplated saying something to the effect of "Excuse me, shut up," but decided I was too sleepy to deal with the threatening attitude she was likely to exhibit. 

Part of the problem?

It did get me wondering, though, when do you become part of the rudeness problem?  If I had confronted her, it seems improbable that she would have backed down meekly, so I would have probably created a bigger fuss than her annoying conversation filled with cursing.  Still, I often feel that we all let rudeness slide when we should point out to people that it is unacceptable.  We now live in an age where we don't blink when people exhibit bad manners.  It is common to see people put their bags or coats on the seat next to them so no one can sit there, to watch kids sitting in the disabled seating not move when a hunched little old woman gets on the bus, to experience inconsiderate drivers at least once on any car trip, and to be subjected to people talking loudly on cell phones in public (to highlight but a few common examples of boorish behavior).

"Bad girl."

I know it is just as impolite to call someone out on their rudeness; however, it feels like we've reached a point where people are often rude because they don't even realize that their actions are inconsiderate.

Maybe if more of us call people on their inconsiderate actions they would happen less.  I don't think I'm ready to be confronted about my failure to RSVP though.

Giving In

So I bought this.  I know I'm supposed to be spending less; I promised Nathan I would "have and hold" my paychecks in preparation for this wedding of ours.

But this went on sale today.  And as much as I've been drooling over shoes, I can usually pass them by relatively easily.  Great shoes are not that few and far between, after all.  But this bathing suit might actually make me feel cute WHILE WEARING A BATHING SUIT.  That seems like magic.  And magic is worth the price, especially when said magic goes on sale for $30 less than it was originally.  Now this suit is about the price a suit costs when you buy it in a store, and that suit was not made especially for you by hand, was it?  AND it is not the suit you remember from your iconic Barbie.

So if there's music to face, I am willing to face it.  Although, I think that once he gets a load of me in this sexy thing, money will hopefully be the last thing on his mind.

Is it wrong that now I kind of want some tattoo sleeves to go with it?

A Recent Conversation #3

Me:  So what do you think of my veil?  (Showing him my Russian birdcage veil.)  Do you hate it?

Him: No....Is that the same stuff as the bag that onions come in?

I'm Almost 30

This secret was on PostSecret this week.    Right now there are some days I could be the sender of this secret, but not all that often.  I look back at my pictures from my early 20's and think, "What in the world was I so self-conscious about?"  I figure I'll do the same when I look back at my pictures from now.

Well, "fuck that!" I'm going to work hard to make this secret mine more often than not these days.

I Want This Wednesday

Good thing these aren't in my size...makes it easy to keep to my promise to cut back a bit on my spending.

Can't decide which pair I love more...        

The tan ones...

Or the green ones...

               

I think my Mad Men marathon this past month (3 seasons in 3 weeks, AND I have managed to watch that much TV while still having a life.  Yay to watching online and cutting out commercials!) is influencing my wardrobe lusts lately.  (To be honest, it is influencing way too much of my life.  I actually found myself cooking away in my grandmother's frilly 50's apron a week ago.  I almost took a picture of myself for the blog before I had the good sense to be mildly embarrassed about how much that show is infecting my brain.)

A Recent Conversation #2

Rarely am I witness to the nice things that Nathan says about me to others (although he assures me that this happens often).  However, the other night I thought it was my lucky day when he had had a bit too much to drink with his friends and the discussion centered on my sports acumen.

Him: Did you know Hanna was a champion jello wrestler her freshmen year of college?  She's always been into the risky sports, unafraid to sacrifice her body.  She was a goalie when she played soccer.  The catcher in softball.  She rock climbs.  She's fearless. 

Me: Oh wow, Nathan, that's the nicest thing you've ever said about my athletic abilities.  Aww, I love you so much!

Him: Yep, she's definitely got plenty of courage.  Skill, on the other hand...

A Recent Conversation

Me: Hello already.
Him: I'm sorry I'm so late.
Me: Yes. You are.  Going on 4 hours now.
Him: You should be mad at me.
Me:...?  Well, gee, that's an unusual angle.
Him: Yeah, I thought about that my whole bike ride home.
Me: And that's what you came up with?
Him: Yup.  But I think it was a success.  You don't seem mad now.
Me: Well played, sir.

I Want This Wednesday

I think this is the most romantic beautiful drawing/painting. It's so ethereal and yet she seems so strong. I LOVE it.  In fact, I love everything  the artist has done.  If I hadn't JUST promised Nathan I would cut the spending down a bit, I would buy this immediately.

Wish I Had Written This

My favorite blogger, Mighty Girl's Maggie, just posted the following article she wrote on her blog.  This piece was originally titled “The Non-Expert: Threesomes” and was published in 2003 over at The Morning News. The Non-Expert series answers questions posed by Morning News readers.  She is the funniest woman I don't know.  I swear.  I love/hate her because I am so in awe of her phenomenal talent.



 A 12-Step Guide to Threesomes


Question: What would it take for you to have a three-way with me?

Answer: First, allow me a moment to admire your subtlety. You are a man who knows how to woo a woman with sweet nothings, ply her with charm. The Don-Juan quality of your, ‘What would it take?’ really gets a girl purring.

I wish I could give you a one-size-fits-all answer, but this is a question that every woman must answer for herself. Therefore, you should be asking a girl who is going at it with some other chick when you open the bathroom door at a party.

Instead, you’re asking me.

Fortunately for you, I’m rather drunk. (Threesome Criteria Numero Uno? Check). In this fictional advice-column world, I’m not yet 25 (Criteria 2), and find myself conveniently single (Criteria 3). What’s more, your particularly horizontal shoulders and ready smile help you meet Criteria 4: You are white-hot.

Also, you look kind of familiar. I think you were in my second-grade class. Yeah! I remember you. Weren’t you the shy one who wore yellow galoshes rain or shine? How funny! You’re so…non-threatening (Criteria 5). And my, how you’ve grown.

Do you still live in my hometown? Goodness, no. You’ve been in China teaching English since college. How lovely. So it would seem we have few, if any, common acquaintances (Criteria 6).

Let us test this theory with a few minutes of banter about where you went to college, where you moved after school, and so on. I name the two people I know who attended the university you attended. You shrug your shoulders winningly and admit there were 30,000 students there at the time. We laugh and order another round of martinis.

But what are you doing in town? Just stopping in. In fact, you’re headed back tomorrow morning, pretty early. It is quite likely that our paths will never cross again (Criteria 7). That’s a crying shame.

You rest your hand on my knee as you leave a tip on the bar. Your skin feels like you must be plugged in somewhere (Criteria 8). Your ring finger is band-free (Criteria 9).

Have I mentioned that you are not an unattractive young man? And just my type. Smart, kind, confident, likes to travel, abs like the wind-blown surface of a calm summer lake.

I’m pondering the dollar-to-yuan exchange rate and imagining romantic walks along the Great Wall when you ask if I have a couple bucks to cover the drink you just bought me. Um…sure. Later, you begin an entirely too-detailed conversation about the track trophies you won in high school.

All right. So China’s out. You aren’t necessarily boyfriend material (Criteria 10). But have I mentioned that you are not an unattractive young man? Yes, I suppose I have. And I certainly have some time on my hands this evening, so how could it hurt to pass that time with you?

I’m buzzed, imprudently young, and pleased by the way you lean forward when you whisper to me. What’s that? What would it take to…what?

Ohhhhhhh.

Ha! Are you serious? You are.

Well. That’s not an entirely uninteresting question. Hell, haven’t I always wondered anyway? I mean, hasn’t everyone?

So how are your papers? In order? Disease-free, psychosis-free (Criteria 11)? Excellent. Do you have condoms on you? You don’t. All right, you make a drug-store run (Criteria 12), and I’m in.

While you’re gone, I’ll go find the other guy.