Monday, January 23, 2012

No Do Overs

Sometimes I still think of this small interaction I had with my 3rd grade nemesis. If I had a time machine, it would be a moment I would seriously consider revisiting. It could have gone better. At the very least I wish I would have just laughed at her.

Me: Why aren't you nice to me?
My 3rd Grade Nemesis: Hanna, you're just not cool.
Me: Why not?
She Who Will Not Be Named: You live on a farm out in the country. Like some Amish girl. Plus your mom is a hippie and your dad is a cowboy.
Me: [Offended and thoroughly dev-a-stated.] Nu-uh.

A beekeeper, perhaps, but definitely not a cowboy.
(Sorry, Dad.)

Instead of the stellar "Nu-uh" comeback, how it should have gone down:

Me: Well, clearly I'm a heck of a lot more interesting than you are.


Me: Pick your insult. We can't be Amish, hippies, and cowboys.


Me: Are you kidding? The kid with the hippie mom and the cowboy dad would totally be the most popular kid in school.


Me: Man, if that were true, we would totally have our own reality TV show.
(Okay, okay it was before reality TV was big, but you'd totally watch that show, wouldn't you?)

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