Recent Conversation #8

Him: Um, I don't think I'm going to be able to wear the grey suit to your sister's wedding.
Me: Why?
Him: Because the cat threw up on it.
Me: What!? How did that happen to your GOOD SUIT?
Him: It must have been when it was lying on the bed.
Me: Why was it on the bed though?
Him: (Suspicious lack of an answer.) I could wear the black one instead?
Me: No, give it to me. I'll see if I can get it out.
Him: What shirt should I wear?
Me: How about your light blue one?
Him: But then it will be exactly what I wore to our wedding.
Me: Oh, good point. Okay, how about the white one?
Him: What's that?
Me: Argh! That's ring around the collar which happens when you don't clean your shirts every time you wear them. That's not gonna come out.
Him: Should I get rid of it?
Me: Yes, but now you don't have a shirt! Why are you only figuring this out the NIGHT BEFORE WE LEAVE?
Him: (Suspicious lack of an answer.)
Me: Okay, how about this blue shirt?
Him: But then it's like what I wore for our wedding.
Me: This is darker blue. Plus you're wearing a tie. And you'll be wearing the jacket. That's actually a completely different outfit. Are we good? Do you have shoes?
Him: At work. With my belt.
Me: ! Fine. Don't forget them or we'll have to buy some from Walmart for you. Again.