Not Quite What I Planned

Now that it's been quite awhile since the wedding, I feel a little more comfortable talking about the failures of our big day. Some of them were little, some a bit larger, but ultimately I'm probably the only one who noticed them.

Hot right? Who wouldn't want to be walking down the aisle toward that?

Well, this was to be Nathan's wedding outfit. It was somewhat more fancy than just the dress pants he usually wears to work, making it a special look for the wedding, but not too fancy that he would feel uncomfortable. However, when he tried it on, my handsome husband looked more like Magilla Gorilla. Apparently his shoulders are too wide to pull off the vest look.






Needless to say, this early failure was avoided and I ended up with a groom who looked like this:

So far, no complaints, right? We moved the location of our wedding; we changed caterers three days before, and we were half an hour or so late to start the wedding...None of these things are a big deal in my memory at all, but there is one. Oh that one thing, that I am still moderately horrified to remember.

And that is the music that played as I walked down the aisle. The song choice began with all the best intentions. After all, it's called You Remind Me of Home. It's by the unoffensive Ben Gibbard, lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie. What could go wrong, you ask? Exactly. Well, apparently in the last minute planning of everything it was mentioned by my sister that I didn't have any music planned. I scrolled quickly through my ipod and remembered my fondness for the tune of this song that I had recently obtained, so I said, this will work, right? I played a bit and we all nodded, but clearly NO ONE LISTENED TO THE WORDS because I walked down the aisle with the following words wafting all around me:

You remind me of home
The paint cracks when the water leaks from the rusty pipes that are just beneath my feet
You remind me of home
The heater's warm but fills the room with a potpourri of dust and gas fumes

You remind me of home
A broken bed with dirty sheets that creaks when I am shifting in my sleep
You remind me of home
In a suburban town with nothing to do, patiently waiting for something to happen

But the foundation is crumbling
And becoming one with the ground
While you lay there in slumber
You're wasting your life
Wasting your life

You remind me of home
Sitting on a thrift store couch, I'm trying to get this all down 

What!? So awful. Could I have picked a more romantic song? I doubt it. Of course we have a lovely song that we've always considered "our" song that is much more romantic, but Moonlight in Vermont wouldn't work for an afternoon wedding in New York state (talk about over thinking it, right?), so yeah I went with something that I, as someone who takes great pride in knowing music and paying attention to lyrics, am still rather mortified to think of as my wedding song. Oh those last minute decisions, they'll getcha.

I'm going with that song being one of those opposite things meant to balance out the luck of the marriage or keep us out of the eye of the gods...or something. Honestly, mostly I just try not to think about that part of the wedding day!

Love Looks Good On Everyone

What a lovely collection of vignettes by New York Magazine of some of the newly married couples in New York since gay marriage was legalized.

Did you know?
On July 24, 2011 when couples were actually allowed to begin marrying, the first same-sex couple in the state were married in Niagara Falls at midnight. Niagara Falls was lit in a rainbow for the first time in honor of the occasion.

I read these and have such a hard time fathoming how anyone can think that allowing same-sex couples to marry can do anything to damage marriage. More marriages based on deep love and years of commitment will only make the institution of marriage stronger and more meaningful.

All images by Spencer Heyfron
Article via Emily Scott via New York Magazine, "It's Official."

Why I've Been MIA

My younger sister's bridal shower was this past weekend. We decided that her shower would have a nautical theme,* and I may have gone a bit overboard on my decoration projects.

I tackled homemade frosting and cupcakes that I topped with handmade international code flags of my sister and her husband-to-be's first and last initials (J, A, and H).


 I sewed international code flag buntings that said the couple's last name-to-be and the bride and groom's nicknames.




I made yellow and white tissue paper pom-poms to hang from the ceiling.

I sewed over 100 foot of crepe paper ruffle. 

My youngest sister made the book page banner (out of pages from an old copy of Little Women) that says "You float my boat."




I made tiny red, white, and blue paper buntings for the miniature origami boat regatta game we invented. (My mom made the 50 small origami boats.)

*Funny story, part of my gift to my sister was two WWII signal flags that I found on eBay. I initially bought them without realizing what they meant. After discovering that there was a different flag for each letter, I was first disappointed that I had given her two flags that stood for the letter "p" because that letter really doesn't have any significance at all. However, I later discovered that while the flag stood for the letter "p," it also means "About to Sail," which is so incredibly fitting for someone getting ready to get married! And better yet, two p's together mean, "Keep well clear of me" which will come in handy on all sorts of occasions after the wedding. I just love a multi-purpose gift, don't you?

Our Wedding (Finally)

 

Finally sharing the pictures, not that it finally happened.  Yes, we've been together a decade, but that doesn't mean that either of us were in a rush to have a ceremony.  We waited until the time was right for us, and it ended up being perfect.  It really was.  I think if our pictures show nothing else, they certainly capture our joy.  Our wedding was joy-filled and moving, and so very truly us.

Feel free to read the ceremony we wrote here. 

Also, if you haven't seen it yet, you should go see the lovely slideshow our photographer, Shyla, made for us.  It captures the whole day in about 2 minutes.  I've selected different pictures below since I know many people have already seen the slideshow.

And here are some snapshots of the day.

 

There are too many pictures of all the details of the day that everyone helped to create to include them all individually here, so I am including a few collages of many of them.  

The Bar Table

My sisters were completely in charge of the tables and the flowers, while my cousin took care of our wedding (ice cream) cake.  My dad repaired the croquet set and made sure everything made it up to NY.  My mom took care of the chalkboard and all of the plates (though we all got a little caught up in buying them.) 

The Flowers

 

My grandmother let us borrow her table linens and napkins.  My aunt contributed the silverware and the jars for the flowers; not to mention she and my uncle (and many of their friends) made sure their backyard was the most magical place to hold a wedding, landscaping and planting a good portion of the flowers in the days before the wedding.  My uncle and my sister's fiance made sure the stereo worked. My sister's boyfriend created the playlist.  

Another uncle hand-carved both sets of birds that topped the cakes.  It was a wonderful way to have everyone's involvement in the preparations for our day, and it was really nice not to have to worry about many of the details. 

The Wedding (Ice Cream) Cake and the Dessert Table

Our Wedding Ceremony

As we had a very small wedding guest list, I have received many requests to hear all about our wedding.  The next few blog entries are dedicated to our wedding. 

First, I thought I'd share our ceremony.

We decided to write our own because we wanted to reflect our values and interests in our day.  As anyone who knows us realizes, we are far from traditional so we wanted our ceremony to reflect that as well.  We both have a love of reading and books and our ceremony truly embraces literature.  Our siblings and parents recited the readings (or in Nathan's Dad's case, officiated), and Nathan and I introduced our vows with poems.  Mine was "i carry your heart" by ee cummings (Complete Poems: 1904-1962 by ee cummings), while Nathan's was Sonnet LXIX by Pablo Neruda (100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda).

Here it is, though minus a few tears.  Barry (my father-in-law) read all the parts in italics.

Gathering by William H Matchett  (Dad read)

Here, in our best bib and tucker we flock,
Drawn from all the hell over, iron filings to a magnet,
An intricate pattern, a one-time convergence
Of friends and relations, a living mandala;

Young and old, nephews and nieces,
Sisters and brothers, parents, grandmother,
And all those others you got to choose for yourselves
Agglomerating to hold you in the centre.

Slow in coming, swift in passing, this day
Slow but long-lasting the major choice confirmed,
Hardly inevitable, yet falling into place
As though it were just what we always expected.

So we join, as you join,
In celebrating love – yours for each other of course
Ours, as you must know, for you – circling,
Cherishing, blessing, releasing
Love, the core of all.

Nathan and Hanna have invited all of you here today to celebrate their marriage.  They know that a marriage needs the help of a community, of friends and family who will be there to support the new family they will create.  May you always do all within your power to support the union that will be made here today and to nurture the bond between these two people whom you love.

This ceremony celebrates all the commitments Nathan and Hanna have made to each other, both large and small, in the days since they first met and recognized their connection to one another.  Their wedding is a symbol of how far they have come together and a symbol of the promise that they will make to each other to continue to live their lives together and to love each other solely and above all others. 


from Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins (Susanne read)

Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.

excerpt "Union" by Robert Fulghum  (Emily read) 
Hanna and Nathan, “You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife.”

Do you, Hanna, take this man as your husband for as long as you both shall live?  Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?

-I do.

Do you, Nathan, take this woman as your wife for as long as you both shall live?  Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?

-I do.

i carry your heart by ee cummings  (Hanna to Nathan)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                    i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant 

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Sonnet LXIX by Pablo Neruda  (Nathan to Hanna)

Maybe nothingness is to be without your presence,

without you moving, slicing the noon

like a blue flower, without you walking

later through the fog and the cobbles,

without the light you carry in your hand,

golden, which maybe others will not see,

which maybe no one knew was growing

like the red beginnings of a rose.

In short, without your presence: without your coming

suddenly, incitingly, to know my life,

gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind:

since then I am because you are,

since then you are, I am, we are,

and through love I will be, you will be, we’ll be.

Repeat after me:

I, Nathan, take you Hanna, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part.

-Response

I, Hanna, take you, Nathan, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part.

-Response

No one but you can declare yourselves married. You have begun it here today in speaking your vows before family and friends and you will do it again in the days and years to come, standing by each other, sharing all the sweet and the bitter of life. Each tender act, each loving word will be the declaration of what was made here today.

These rings are a reminder and a celebration of the promises you have made today and in exchanging these bands you knit your two lives together as one.

Please repeat after me, these words: 

(Nathan)

Accept this ring as a symbol of all the things I find difficult to say: how much I love you and how happy I am to have you in my life, my best friend, my wife.

(Hanna)

Accept this ring as a symbol of all the things that fill my heart: how much I love you and how happy I am to have you in my life, my best friend, my husband.

I give it a month before he loses it.

Epithelium by Aonghas MacNeacail (Shirley read)

This is your new garden, a whole wide
World of it, so green and songbird fresh
All yours to map and fill with luminous
Constellations of fruit and berry blossoms


This is your new garden, tend it as if
All the young shoots that promise
A succulent harvest of root and ear
Will be young and tender for all time


This is your garden, there will always be
Much hoeing and raking, the clearing
of weeds and sowing of seeds will ask
patience, attention, forgiving laughter


this is the garden you will want to live in, it’s not
all sunshine – there’s moonshine too, all earth
needs storms, but when the dark clouds peel back,
see your garden bloom into a universe of stars.

We have all gathered here and witnessed the celebration of love that Nathan and Hanna have shown and the commitment that they have made to each other. This marriage is not an end, nor is it a beginning, but rather it is an important step along a path which continues into the future, and it is a step which Nathan and Hanna  are taking with a clear understanding of the commitment and resolution that the path requires and with confidence, trust and love.

from "Song of the Open Road" by Walt Whitman (Jessica read)

Afoot and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose…
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

May your intention and your commitment to each other remain strong and may the foundation of your relationship be love and the best interests of each other.
 
Gaelic Wedding Blessing (Mom read)
May God be with you and bless you.
May you see your children’s children.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

Walk gently through the world together and know its wonders for all the days of your lives. Go forward in your life together with the good wishes of those who love you. Remember this day, those who came to wish you well, the words you have spoken, the emotions you feel and the love you have declared. And above all, be happy.

By authority granted by the State of New York I now pronounce you, husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

Add it to My List

Oooh, I want to add this to my registry list.

 

You think I'm gross now, don't you?  

No, they're actually lovely.  They're Seed Bombs!  You use them to do guerrilla gardening.  Give them a pre-soak in some water and then toss them in some undesirable, weed-infested or barren landscape, and they will grow on their own!  Each bomb contains lots of different wildflower seeds, so it is a complete surprise.   I can already think of a few spots where I would love to throw them on my way to work. 

 I don't really have anywhere to throw them in our neighborhood because Nathan takes out his nervous/bored energy by weeding the traffic circles and abandoned flowerbeds in the surrounding areas.  (Yeah, yeah, I KNOW.  We ARE meant for each other.  Our weirdness balances.  I am very self-aware that way.)  That's actually a step up from his past compulsion.  He was seriously working out so much his pants were falling off.  He literally ran his butt off.

I digress.  These are fun.  I want them.  I can totally picture myself throwing these out the car window after the wedding when we're on the road heading home!  I think of it like some sort of twisted version of throwing rice at the wedding.

The Delight and Exhaustion of Materialism-The Gift Registry

Oh I wish that Etsy had a registry option because this way is going to be so much more time consuming...Nathan felt pretty strongly about us not actually registering at a store, but he didn't win that one. (Oh, harbinger of married life, you can't wait, can you, Nathan?)  However, out of deference to him, it's a small one at Crate and Barrel (-though that certainly does not mean that's where the items should be bought).  In addition to that "normal" registry list, here are some items we'd enjoy from Etsy.

Love these dish towels! 

and these too...

and I adore that this one will remind us of Scotland.

It'd be nice to have a working, non-electric mantle clock.

I would also like a cut glass bowl (not a tall pedestal, so it will fit in the fridge) to use when I make Tiramisu.  I don't love love the design on this one, but I like the size and shape.

We would also love a footstool.

This is my dream footstool...perhaps someone wants to reupholster a nice solid ottoman in an old printed burlap sack for us as a project?

Man, if I had $1200 to spare, I would...probably still not spend it on an ottoman.  Are you kidding me?  If I paid that much for an ottoman, I'm certainly not going to let Nathan put his FEET up on it.

 

If you don't feel like taking on a project, this one is a cute little placeholder until I can find a good solid ottoman and an old printed burlap sack of my own. 

I will be adding more if I think of anything, but please consider all of these things suggestions of items we'd enjoy-the links and pictures are not the only version of the item mentioned that we would love.  You all have excellent taste and know our style well enough that I know I would love anything you chose for us.

Our DIY Wedding

One of the things that I have enjoyed immensely about planning the wedding is envisioning what the whole enterprise will look like on the big day.  The flowers, the tables, the weather (dear Lord, I hope it doesn't rain!), the lawn games, the smiles, the words (just beginning to begin to contemplate the ceremony though so that is still VERY diaphanous).
The plan is to have our family all gathered in the lush backyard of my grandparents' house under the tall pines and the soft blue of the Vermont summer sky.  We'll have croquet and badminton games set up at one end of the yard and the tables for the meal nearby.  They'll be lovely tables covered by antique tablecloths (some of which have embroidered W's on them-borrowed from my Nana-which I love because they also look like M's!)
One table will be set up to be the bar, one will have the amazing food from our locally based caterer, and one will be piled high with a dessert buffet!  The other tables will be set up using both Emily's planning for the decor and Jessica's flower design and arrangement.  I love that I don't have to give either of those aspects a second thought beyond knowing that they will be phenomenal.  I laugh thinking that E & J will spend more time making the tables and flowers perfect than I have spent on any aspect of this day. (My meeting with the caterer took 15 minutes!)

I do know one part of the table design.  It's one bit that I am most excited about right now.  Both the dinner and cake plates we're using are really fun ones we've all been picking up from antique and thrift stores.  Here are some of my favorites, but only a few, as I have about 50 more faves packed up already!  Thank goodness that I have an extraordinary photographer to capture all these gorgeous details so that I can share them with all my friends later...and thank goodness I have extraordinarily gifted family members to help pull it all off!

Shoe Showdown

I'm currently deciding on my wedding shoes. You'd think that our wedding, being the nontraditional venture that it is, would make for an easy time of choosing an appropriate shoe.  In truth, I am finding it to be a challenge.  First of all, since the wedding is outdoors, I can't go with heels. So I am limited to wedges or flats. I would prefer them to not be completely flat.

This is one pair I ordered: Sophia by Seychelles.  They're pretty comfortable, will fit into the color scheme, and I will probably wear them again (although I don't really own any yellow clothes, and I will definitely be needing a tan). 

I also ordered: Bette by Seychelles.  The picture shows them in something of an aqua color, but I got them in off white.  Though they are completely flat, I was surprised by how much I liked them on.  Very comfortable and although they look somewhat frou frouey, they don't look over the top on.

 
And, I ordered (thank goodness for those free returns from Zappos): Chiara by Franco Sarto.  These look a little Pepto Bismal-esque, but in person it's more of a blush color.  More the heel height I would prefer, but not loving the color and the shoes aren't perfectly comfortable (although I could probably stretch them on my shoe stretcher to fit perfection).

Finally, my favorites: Grape by Franco Sarto.  A 3 inch wedge heel with tiny perforations.  I love that this could be my something blue, I love how cute they look on my feet, and they are super comfortable!  I would probably also wear these a lot afterward.  My only concern is that these are pretty substantial wedges for trotting about in a field...

Luckily though, I have a full year to return them for a refund, so I have lots of time to decide.  And, of course, I can keep looking.  This is by no means the end of my shoe shopping (I always love an excuse!)  Any opinions on these?  Also, if you come across any cute options as you are surfing the web or even doing some live shoe shopping, let me know.